Why You Should Sign Senator Sanders Petition for 12 Weeks Paid Family Leave

     We were humans long before we were Americans. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that with all of the deafening media telling us this is the way things are supposed to be. Humans have evolved in countless ways and societies have shaped different groups to believe many different things during the time we have been on this lovely planet. It is high time we stop allowing ours to tell us what kind people we should be and what kind of lives we should have.
     These are our only lives, I think. When it all comes down to it there are only just  a few things that will really matter to us in the end and those things are being stolen out from under us.
     We will remember the time we spent with family. Or we will regret all the time we didn't. I was lucky as a child and I had a family member, my grandmother, Gama, who was able to stay home with me. We underestimate how valuable that can be to a child. Gama made my breakfast every morning. She packed my lunch and made sure I had everything I needed for school. She picked me up from school everyday and stayed on top of the work I was to at home. When she cooked us dinner she always let me help and eventually she taught me how to cook for myself. She taught me how to sew, braid hair, and tie my shoes, amongst many other things. I would not have had any of these things in daycare or after school program.
      Let me say before I continue, I do not think every mother should be forced to stay home to be considered a good mother.  I am a mother, but I like going to work everyday and there's nothing wrong with that. I merely think that every child should have a caretaker that is with them consistently throughout their life and is able to spend time focusing on their individual needs. This can be a mother, father, grandparent, aunt, friend, or nanny.
     Unfortunately, this is not an option for many. It wasn't that long ago in American history that a man or woman could work full time and make enough for the other parent to stay home. This wasn't just the reality of the educated or the CEO's. A man could work full time as a janitor, or a shoe salesman, or a construction worker and make enough for his wife to stay home. That is no longer reality. Nowadays, many couples are not only both working but in many cases one or both has multiple jobs just so they can continue to be broke. How are we supposed to spend time with our families if we have to work nearly every minute of our lives just stay alive? There's a word for that. It's called slavery.
     I have three children. When my youngest child, Crosby, was born I went back to work after 2 weeks. This was incredibly hard for me for multiple reasons but it was decision that I really had no choice in making.  Though I worked full time (up until the moment my water broke at my desk), many weeks even overtime, I was unable to save up enough money throughout my pregnancy to take off the 6 weeks that I was technically allowed. Not to mention, even though my husband and I both worked full time we were still so far under the poverty line that we qualified for food stamps, day care assistance, and thankfully, Medicaid. Two weeks after my beautiful son was born via c-section I cried my eyes out before suiting up and heading back to work. I will never get that time back. I will never hold his tiny brand new baby body again. I lost that time. It was taken from me. Every parent should be able to enjoy that time and more.
     There isn't an experience in the world quite like having a brand new baby. It's one of the most memorable and love filled times that many will ever experience. That is what life is all about. We were not put on this planet to work ourselves to death and miss out all the joy life has to offer. Life is a gift and we need to cherish those special moments and do everything in our power to make sure others have the ability to as well. All parents, whether it be mothers, fathers, adoptive parents, or otherwise, should be given the gift of a minimum of 12 weeks paid family leave. Click on the link below to sign if you agree.


https://go.berniesanders.com/page/s/paid-family-leave?source=shemtw150611

Self esteem, let's turn it around

People pleasing is a habit that is ingrained in almost all of us but we have all met someone (or many people) who simply takes it too far.
Today, I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine. Let's call him Roger. Let's pretend Roger and I were talking about lights. I passively complain about the bad lighting in my apartment. Roger immediately apologizes for not having opened the blinds. I was referring to actual electric lights inside the apartment.
Roger is a beautiful, young man. He dresses great and his hair is always perfect. He is charming and kind. All of this is great but Roger has one problem, Roger has low self esteem so he doesn't see himself the same way the world does. If you've ever known anyone like this than you probably know that there isn't a damn thing you can say to someone to make them realize this. Roger apologizes a lot, even though most of the time he didn't do anything wrong.
So I said to him, "I was referring wall lighting. Why did you defend yourself when you had not been accused of anything?' I said this with a low, calm if not inquisitive voice.
"I don't know," he says while he visibly ponders the idea, "I honestly don't know why I do that."

I can tell you why. It's very simple really. It's because he wants me to like him. He doesn't want me to find a reason to stop liking him.

Now let me tell you what he is doing wrong. A key element to self esteem is a true sense of self. A person must have beliefs (whatever they may be), a moral code, expectations, goals, etc. I know what I believe. I know, quite definitively, my definitions of right and wrong. Therefore, I do not apologize unless an apology is warranted. Having said that, let me add that not apologizing when an apology is truly warranted is not my version of the right thing to do. Another key factor to self esteem is partaking in esteemable actions, meaning doing things that make you feel proud. Being able to look yourself in the mirror and truly be able to tell yourself that you are a person of integrity is a life changing feeling, that is more rare than you might think. Self esteem allows a person to trust himself enough to decide what he does and does not apologize for.

If you seek a life of peace and happiness then I urge you take this advice. The better person you are, the better you will feel. Starting today be a person who shares. A person who shares not just items, but joy, information, advice, and most importantly time. Today, be a person who always makes the right decision. Anyone who does that leaves themselves without reason to lie. A person who does not lie is a person that other people trust. When someone trusts you, you're words have much greater impact on their lives. Help them, guide them. Never break plans again. If you say you will be somewhere, people should be able to trust that you will be there. Learn to say no. If you get invited to party and you know damn well that you are not going to go, do not say yes just so you can hang up the phone. Tell that person, "Thank you but I don't think so." Better to be honest and have a rough moment than to lie and then be the person no one can depend on. Be better, so when you are better you can teach others how to be better. Let's teach the children of the world what being an adult should look like.